Should you stop giving gifts to a godchild after he is out of high school and is now 20 yrs old?

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Question by Cammie: Should you stop giving gifts to a godchild after he is out of high school and is now 20 yrs old?
More details:

My husband is the godfather of a now 20 year old boy. We always lived in a different state than the godchild and hubby is not that close to godchild's parents anymore. They talk once per year on average and the godchild NEVER communicates with my husband.

I told my husband that it is now time to stop giving christmas and birthday gifts to this boy. Oh and by the way, my husband has never been thanked for the gifts from neither the godchild or his parents. These people lack the basics of life and I can see that the godchild learned nothing about etiquette and manners from his parents so I do not totally blame the boy.

So do you all agree that it is time to stop the gifts to the godchild?
Michael you are full of sh!t

Best answer:

Answer by ruthaya2
You might want to in this particular case. Since he has learned the basics of being an ungrateful and selfish human being and that you yourself are getting no pleasure out of the gift-giving, I suggest you move on. Save the love for those who will truly appreciate it.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 
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7 Responses to Should you stop giving gifts to a godchild after he is out of high school and is now 20 yrs old?

  1. Adam says:

    Petra, some of the other answers are on the right track here. A gift should always be given for the enrichment of the giver, not of the receiver. If your husband values this association, even if not reciprocated, then he’s right to cherish it and send a gift in remembrance. It may not be the everyday norm for godchild relationships, but then again, I think the position of godparents is taken too lightly in most cases.
    I understand why you would appreciate thank you’s for these thoughtful gifts – but you should never expect them. Your husband agreed long ago to a relationship that he, at least, places stock in – that demonstrates that he’s thoughtful. This seems purely beneficent.

  2. Angelina says:

    First of all- yes, they should be courteous enough to realize that you are going out of your way to send a gift.
    With this said, if you are only sending him gifts out of duty and not love and expecting a thank you- then perhaps gifts were not a good idea in the first place.

    If you truely love this boy then send a card out of love. But he is too old for gifts.

    And because you live in a different state- perhaps you should all find a way to get together to get close again. Sometimes friendships don’t last due to distance.

  3. pathological says:

    I don’t know anyone who received gifts from their godparents for any even other than the actual baptism. Quit sending stuff.

  4. Old Mister Happy says:

    A 20 year old is an adult, and an adult who does not communicate with the gift giver, not even a thank-you, really should be cut off. It should have happened years ago, frankly, but better late than never. So, I agree with you. HOWEVER, what is more important is how your husband feels about it. If HE feels a continued responsibility for some [ridiculous] reason, then it should be his decision and you shouldn’t stand in his way.

  5. Aporia says:

    Gifts are always voluntary, no matter what the age. If your husband still feels moved to show his affection for this young person with gifts, as one would a friend, then it is still appropriate. If you’re simply giving them out of a misplaced and nonexistent feeling of “we have to do this”, then you should stop.

    Anyone who fails to thank a giver for gifts should stop getting them though, since thanklessness implies that gifts are not wanted.

  6. ? Mad Luv ? says:

    so because the child was raise with ill manners your going to not give. I find that rather spiteful personally. but I do see your point why waste your time and money and thoughts on someone who don’t show they care.
    At this point i would suggest to still gift to him as he is your godchild. (im 30 i still get gifts from my godmother)
    I suggest maybe getting a cheaper gift or just a card for now one. As a god parent you should help parent a little. if you can at least guide them in some basic manners.
    So maybe the gifts stop and the thoughtfulness comes into play. Just dropping the kid isn’t the best thing to do. Send cards with no money but thoughtful questions.
    or letters he is older now so he should beable to understand them and read them and know to follow up. if not don’t be afraid to ask him to follow up.
    So I know you recieved this call me 555-5555 Luv you Your God parent.

  7. Gabbi says:

    You should give your gifts to people with a better heart and who will appreciate it. I think that would be the best thing if you let your grandson go his own way and learn his lesson in the harsh world.

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